Diary of a Dumbass

Message to Senator McCain: I am not your friend. Stop refering to me as one.

Im going back to school in the morning. Hurray. But IM STILL PISSED THAT A CERTAIN SOMEONE DIDNT HAVE THE DECENCY TO CALL HER BEST FRIEND TO HANG OUT AND SAY GOODBYE. STUPID WHORE SLUT. DITCH ME JUST LIKE EVERYONE ELSE BEFORE YOU HAS DITCHED ME DESPITE THE FACT THAT YOU SAID YOU NEVER WOULD.

sorry. just had to get that out.

im not bitter.

So i dont know how I can have such a fantastic night and then come home and feel so crappy. I honestly don't know whats wrong with me. I was having such fun and then all of a sudden Im home and I just get depressed.

I just dont want to be alone anymore I think. :(

So Im done babysitting. THANK GOD.

No more of those little terrors to ruin my summer. Althoguh im still incredibly broke.

And i dont know how that happened. But hey, whatever.


and im seriously reconsidering who my friends are. Because I just dont know anymore.

So i had this invite to go to NYC and see spring awakening and hair, for cheap. but im babysitting.
and im pissed. because i want to do what i want, not what i should do.

being responsible and committed to things sucks. sigh. but, money is necessary.

So I have a room to myself again next semester if things go my way. kelley told me she can't come back and its kind of bitter sweet. Ill miss her, but i really like having a room to myself. A lot.

Haha.

in other news, i went to the beach today and it was fun. sunny, and full of boys. well.. it was sunny for a while. and then it turned cloudy and started to rain and the boys left with the sun. But thats okay.

also, i am kinda tired of getting ditched by my friends for their boyfriends. it makes me mad. but thats all the rant in this post.

oh, except that im still never having children. ever.

also, i have to get my wisdom teeth out on friday and i am SCARED. more later.

but for the rest of the summer i am working. working. working. and thats it.

oh, one more rant.

I WISH MY FUCKING STAGE MANAGER WOULD TELL ME WHEN I NEED TO GO BACK TO SCHOOL BECAUSE I NEED TO TELL WORK. SFKLAJLASJFKLSAFKLAFJL;AKSFJ

and now im really done. i swear.

Boys toy with my emotions. Even when they aren't even talking to me.

Frustrations!!

See also, I could hardcore go for an alcoholic beverage and some boys to hang out with.

Yeah.

But, Im hopefully going to the beach on saturday and im babysitting for the rest of the week (ugh) so be prepared for some RANTS about how evil children are.

John Mayer, you will never be as good as Tom Petty.

Im sorry.

Anyways, besides that, I had such a good time in VT. I forget sometimes how amazing Brittany Fowler is. Me and her can have a blast no matter what.

Im definitely going to miss her when she runs off to college.

And speaking of college, i visited mine with Brittany to give her a tour and we met a couple of my friends, Justin, and Sammy. Iforgot how attractive Justin is. But, oh well.

Ha.

oh! But on the fun side of things, I have A QUAD of boys living next to me next semester. And they better be hot. And attracted to me. Because... Im hot.

lol.

and, im rambling, so ill be on my way.

but i love boys.

Im headed to VT with Bfow until Sunday. So... yeah. Love you!

So I had my wisdom teeth consultation thing today, and it effectively scared the crap out of me. BUT. In the end, I am getting my wisdom teeth out. On 08.08.08 at 8:00. So hopefully thats a good sign of sorts.

The thing is, Im not so much scared of the surgery as I am the before and after. I am DEATHLY afraid of needles and i HATE the idea of an IV. So thats what Im afriad of. SO. Here is all the things they are doing for me to make me not so scared. First they are giving me a valium for the night before so i dont freak out. Then, im going in half an hour early for some numbing cream to be put on my arm. Then, they are giving me laughing gas, and THEN they are putting in the IV. Then, for the surgery, they are knocking me out completely. Which, I mean is terrifying in its own respect because you lose like an hour of your life, but.. i suppose i dont want to remember it.

Im scared of the after though because i dont think im going to want to be off soft foods for like a month after i get them out. Im terrified that something might get stuck in the holes. Even if the holes arent there. I dont know.

They also said I wouldnt remember a thing about the surgery except the IV.

Which unfortunately, is what I dont want to remember. So wish me luck, because Ill be panicking for like a week before the surgery.

oy.

Oh yeah, and I went into work today and... yeah. It was busy for a while and furthered my hate for small children. They are bossy. Bossy than my boss in fact. And it was my boss's kid. Ironic much?

But i walked into an awkward situation as well. I was talking about a story i wrote about the great escape and how my hot friend dave from school comes and saves me in the end. (its a horror story) and i was working with a boy named dave. and he goes "oh me?!" all excited. and i was like, "well, not you. my other hot friend dave" and he goes "do you really think im hot?" and i was like "sure." Which was, Im guessing not an appropriate response because he got all sad and was like "i see how it is." and sulked off.

Well not really sulked but you could see his masculinity felt threatened, or deflated at best. and it got me to thinking, is there an appropriate response to that? if i had said "yes." he would have been like "youre just saying that." or something. So i dont know.

So anyways, the bad part about this, is that dave is quite good-looking and I think he misinterpretted my response. And any attempt i tried to tell him that he was attractive was met with, "no no, i know how you feel" and so on.

Now, he could have been kidding, but whatever. This post got WAAAY longer than it should have been. But, if anyone reads this (which i know meggle and c-lyn do because they commented at least..) what would you do in this situation?

So today I was innocently browsing my facebook when all of a sudden my msn chat thinger came up. (I never use msn chat anymore) And it was a girl named Shelley. She used the phrase "A/S/L" and immediately I knew this was not good news. I obliged her by telling her and immediately she asked me to come to her chat room and watch her live webcam. I was not sure if she was a robot or not, but I continued to first berate her as a slut and then try to help her asking her why she did this. She fittingly ignored me (hence why she might have been a robot) but it got me wondering, Why do girls feel the need to parade their bodies around on the internet? They arent getting paid, so why? Just because they like 45 year old men drooling over them and jacking off to a computer screen? I mean, I dont think parading your body around anywhere is fitting, but at least strippers get paid.

Anyways. I just wanted to know what the world was coming to.

Other than that though, I think I am allergic to Laurel (my dog) and that makes me very sad. BUT it doesnt stop me from petting her so whatever.

Anyways Im off to clean my room. Love you!!!

I kinda want to send in a post secret. But, Id want to tell everyone if i got onto the website. And then it wouldnt be so secret. And i want to send in a funny one.. but ive got so many sad ones i could put in.

Do they post every one? Anybody know?

Anyways. Im hot. And tired. And a little confused.

BUT. Im still attempting to go to NYC to visit maggie SOMEHOW.

So i need to find a ride to New Haven.

I had a long day today. Im ach-y and sore... and I wanted to go to NYC to see Maggie.

:( Oh well.

Tomorrow hopefully tay and aleja are coming over to make fried dough. :)

So Im conducting an experiment. I realized as I read through my last couple posts from about a year ago (the summer before I left for college) that I was a very unhappy and angry person. So I think what I am going to do is start writing in this thing again. And see if I have become happier. I feel as though I have.

I had a lot of things going on throughout high school and I think now that I am at college, I have learned to forgive and hopefully have been forgiven. I have gained some self confidence and have learned to pick my battles.

Although I still have some problem, okay, lets face it, lots of problems, I feel like a better person.I have surrounded myself with people who make me feel good about myself and who truly care about me.

I think I am happy.

So lets see if I am.

I forgot I had this thing. I wonder if anyone still posts. I think i will take a gander. Maybe Ill continue being an emo kid and writing in this now that ive found it again.

So live journal. When I get a minute Im getting rid of you. Goodbye.

Abby. IS. ALMOST. A. college student.


but not so fortunatly, a movie extra.

ah well, so is life.

A ba tee waaaaaaaaaah. So is life!

C-lyn. You know that shit.

So i rode in a helicopter today and it was super fun and incredible and awesome.


loooooooooved it.


but after that everything sucked.

i inhaled a bleach vapor plume. it sucked.

MOVIE AUDITIONS TOMORROW.

YAYAYAYAYAYAYYAYAYA!!!!!


IM SO EXCITED. HURRAH HURRAY!

My mom is a bitch.


fkasjklsfjklsfl;asjfad

So i went shopping and got my banquet/graduation dress.

its pretty.

i left it at taylors house.


because i am officially a dumbass. and should probably die.

Shopping tomoro!!!

yay hurray!!

All i can say is.

FUCK THIS.


im done now.

So there are like... 9 days of school left. And i have a seven page research paper to write.

Do you think Im going to do it?

Likehood is not so likely.

One, because i havent read the book. And two. Because there are 9 days of school left and I dont need that class to graduate.

Question is. Should I do it?

Ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.


sometimes i just need to get away from people.

paranoia is fun.

anyways. i dont really want to type anymore so i wont.

So I was kind of upset today. Apparently Im pretty good at hiding it.

Until i get home.


but. im better now.



see also: i saw sarah mock driving today. I dont think she saw me tho. I was walking. And i thought i should mention that i love her.

I am angry I am angry I am angry ho ho ho. I am angry I am angry lalalalala.

thats my song for today.

i guess im just wondering why i feel so all alone. Why im a strange in my own life.

I am working on Gold (girl scout equivalent to eagle scout) and need ideas. It has to be 50 hours of my planning/executing/ etc and has to benefit the community. It has to tie into my interests (theatre and or the outdoors/hilking/trails/whatever)

Ideas? Anyone?

I need to come up with something ASAP..........

MEANS NOW!

PLEASE HELP ME. I WILL LOVE YOU FOREVERRRRRR

La la la.

Mr. Mirakian is stupid.

and im kinda mad at him a little bit.

Because i deserved that goddamn solo and not that stupid freshslut.

She isn't good. and im a senior. and i dont get another chance. and she already had a solo.
and i do SHITLOADS of stuff for mr. mirakian and he wouldnt know what to do without me.

so i guess i kinda expected something back.

but no.

so whatever.

sorry for the rant

SCHEMEING IS FUNNNNN